is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
