Nicole vs. Life
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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