Having a random hookup so left but love u
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
