ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
