If that was your dad, he is hot
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
