I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
did you just send me my own nude
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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