He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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