I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
