If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
