what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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