Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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