why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
