David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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