I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Your cock deserves a montage
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
