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even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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