i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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