Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
The best revenge is premature balding
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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