Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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