Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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