We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
