rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Gay?
German.
Pity.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
