dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
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I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
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Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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