Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
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Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize