Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
