On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Randomize
