and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
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