He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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