I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
