You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
