Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
