between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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