Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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