Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
