Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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