Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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