Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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