Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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