I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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