Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
