Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize