I'm drive I can fine osifer
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Randomize
