so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
