There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
