i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver just had a heart attack.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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