Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize