Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize