You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
