Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Two words: nipple clamps
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