In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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