PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
