it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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