Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
