Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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