oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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