my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
