hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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