I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
