I hope mine doesn't look like that
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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