your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
